Champignon (Mushroom) League

Is this the Champions League or the Champignons League, because the mushrooms seem more interesting than some of the results and matches being played.

What’s wrong with the Champions League? Does no one actually want to win this? Because I’m confused and so are other fans.

Everyone’s playing so badly. Or are they tired of trying?


Manchester United 0 – Barcelona 1

This match confused me to say the least. I believe that the teams in the quarter-final should be top ones and yet, many play such uninteresting football with a lack of determination.

Manchester United went in as the obvious underdogs but had the so-called ‘home advantage’. Barcelona, rulers of La Liga, were favourites to win, with #MessiinManchester trending for about a week now.

So why, pray tell, was the match so flat?

Barcelona played ‘less worse’ than United and that was the main reason they shone. Their stats were high because the Red Devils didn’t even try. A number of times, the ball rolled past players with no one moving to catch it. Passes were sloppy and both teams did not play like they had any objectives.

Ten minutes after kick off, Barcelona began a two minute play which consisted of forty-eight passes led to a header by Luis Suarez and a deflection off Luke Shaw and the only goal of the match.

Barcelona players celebrate their goal, with Luke Shaw in the foreground. Credit: Evening Standard
Barcelona players celebrate their goal, with Luke Shaw in the foreground. Credit: Evening Standard

The ball looked liked it had been pushed by the Uruguayan’s shoulder not his head, but through VAR, the goal was awarded anyway. (Such great software.)

Luke Shaw then went on to get himself booked, ruling him out of the next leg. As did Sergio Busquets for a foul on Paul Pogba.

The goal seemed to awaken something in the hosts, as Chris Smalling’s aggressiveness led to a rearrangement of Lionel Messi’s face and a bloody nose which kept him subdued for the rest of the match.

Lionel Messi receives treatment for his bloody nose. Credit: Evening Standard
Lionel Messi receives treatment for his bloody nose. Credit: Evening Standard

Apart from the chance missed by Diogo Dalot and Philippe Coutinho’s shot blocked by De Gea’s boot, the match remained uneventful, as Barcelona stayed on their side of the pitch for most of the rest of the second half.

Manchester United missed their chance to get one up on a sub-par Barcelona and at home which was a wasted gift, if you ask me. That definitely won’t be the case in the next leg and it would take some magic greater than the PSG miracle from the round of 16 for United to progress.


Ajax 1 – Juventus 1

‘The Old Lady’ definitely brought game to Amsterdam last night, as the great CR7 made his presence known after fumbling for most of the first half, mostly through no fault of his own, but Ajax really brought the heat with rapid fire attacks.

The hosts played beautiful football and had many attempts at goal, with a dangerous one from duo Dusan Tadic and Hakim Ziyech but Juventus keeper, Wojciech Szczensy, stopped the wonderful effort from being a ‘goal of the season’ contender.

A few minutes to half-time, however the match tipped in favour of the visitors when Ronaldo ran about 40 yards to catch a cross from fellow Portuguese Joao Cancelo and headed it home blazing past Andre Onana.

This marked Ronaldo’s eighth goal against Ajax and his twenty-fourth Champions League goal in twenty appearances. Just shows that he is the GOAT.

Cristiano Ronaldo heads the ball in for Juventus. Credit: Evening Standard
Cristiano Ronaldo heads the ball in for Juventus. Credit: Evening Standard

But this goal, if anything, just intensified the determination of the Sons of God, with Matthijs de Ligt running all over the pitch, terrorising the Italian club.

And so thirty seconds after return from half-time, Ajax’s David Neres took advantage of a cheap mistake by Cancelo and weaved through the defense before curling a sweet shot in the right corner of the net, leaving Szczensy with no chance. (That’s a hard name to type.)

David Neres (right) celebrates his solo goal. Credit: Evening Standard
David Neres (right) celebrates his solo goal. Credit: Evening Standard

Ajax piled on pressure with two other attempts and Juventus were denied a penalty based on VAR. (Again, such great software.)

Nineteen year old Ajax substitute, Jürgen Ekkelenkamp (these names though) took a shot at goal which was stopped by Juve’s keeper. Douglas Costa who came on for Mario Mandzukic wriggled past two Ajax players, only to hit the bar.

This leaves the score even, giving Juventus a slight edge, as the next leg will be played in Turin.

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3 thoughts on “Champignon (Mushroom) League

  1. What a refreshing and truly funny write-up. From the title (the mushroom league) to the comments about the names and your love for the VAR software
    I was smiling and giggling throughout the piece. Very well written.
    I commend you greatly for how quickly you responded to the suggestion to infuse more humour into your writing. You see…… You do have it in you all the while! Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a refreshing and truly funny write-up. From the title (the mushroom league) to the comments about the names and your love for the VAR software
    I was smiling and giggling throughout the piece. Very well written.
    I commend you greatly for how quickly you responded to the suggestion to infuse more humour into your writing. You see…… You do have it in you all the while! Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

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